So the story is this: Last night, after seeing my friend and I embrace and laugh together on the subway platform, a man I did not know approached us and said “Hey, lesbians, (looks at me) If you lose 10 pounds, she’s gonna marry you.” It was a weird encounter to say the least. At first I just laughed off the rude “advice” I received about my body from a strange man on the subway. But I am still thinking about it today and it has brought up a lot of things I think I should express.
Most of my life has been peppered with others’ (mostly men’s) evaluations, comments and unsolicited “advice” about my appearance, and my worth in relation to their opinions. What I want to make clear is: your opinion of me does not determine my worth. MY opinion of me does.
Here’s what I think: I am a beautiful, smart, talented, capable, brave and inherently good person. I genuinely believe these things and do not seek agreement, affirmation or argument. Confidence is often equated to conceit. We are taught that self deprecation makes us more relatable, more appealing, when in reality it is merely self destructive.
It is no one’s job or duty to point out my flaws. I certainly have things about myself I want to improve or change, but those are things I want to do to make my SELF happy, not someone else. I hope you will take a look at yourself when you receive criticism and really evaluate the truth in it. Don’t believe the lies people tell you about yourself. You know your truth and your worth. And I know mine.